CRAZY DEFINITIONS
Friday, July 01, 2005
667:The neighbor of the beast.
Abbott's Admonitions:
(1) If you have to ask, you're not entitled to know.
(2) If you don't like the answer, you shouldn't have asked the question.
-- Charles Abbot, dean, University of Virginia
Absent, adj.:
Exposed to the attacks of friends and acquaintances; defamed; slandered.
Accuracy, n.:
The vice of being right
Kin, n.:
An affliction of the blood.
Law of the Jungle:
He who hesitates is lunch.
Lawyer's Rule:
When the law is against you, argue the facts.
When the facts are against you, argue the law.
When both are against you, call the other lawyer names.
Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom:
No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats --
approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less.
Linus' Law:
There is no heavier burden than a great potential.
lisp, v.:
To call a spade a thpade.
Lowery's Law:
If it jams -- force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
Lubarsky's Law of Cybernetic Entomology:
There's always one more bug.
Lunatic Asylum, n.:
The place where optimism most flourishes.
Magnet, n.:
Something acted upon by magnetism.
Magnetism, n.:
Something acting upon a magnet.
The two definitions immediately foregoing are condensed from the works of
one thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated the subject with
a great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human knowledge.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
